Although now parenting style “iron fist” is becoming obsolete, but parents still need to teach discipline to children as early as possible. Discipline will help children understand the concept of “wrong” and “right”.
Apply discipline in children requires skill and patience from parents. Discipline is an attitude that needs to be set up with a fairly long stages.
According to the children and families pskilog Anna Surti Ariani, applying moderate parenting is the best way to establish discipline in children. In this parenting, parents and children make rules in accordance with an agreement to run together anyway.
“If compared, parenting moderates like iron fence given thick foams. Then when the child tried to get out of the fence (the rules that have been created with), he is still limited by an iron fence (assertiveness), but children are also protected with foam (near and affectionate), “said Nina, call the Integrated Clinical psychologist from the University of Indonesia.
In moderate parenting, parents holding on to the principles of discipline sequentially pyramid consists of positive attention, neglect, cooperation, assertiveness, and punishment. Here’s the explanation.
1. Positive attention
Positive attention to the form of praise for good behavior. According to Nina, praise is the most important processes in an attempt to discipline. “The principle that good deeds are rewarded with praise will continue to do,” he said.
Sincerely praise the child when he does good things. Perform compliment with eye contact, facial expression pleasant, and friendly intonation. One thing to remember, praise the behavior, not the child.
Sometimes children naturally seek parental attention by acting spoiled, scream, fuss, and even tend to be “naughty”.
But as long as can be tolerated, give a waiver could be an option.
“For example, when a child is crying and rolling around on the floor, just ignore it. Later she will feel neglected and stop the action,” said Nina.
But neglect the child’s behavior does not mean ignoring her. So, when the child has stopped doing fun behavior, immediately praise him. That way, the child will be able to distinguish which behavior he should do and which ones do not.
The older the child, the more diverse his actions, including the act that makes parents upset. While the ability to understand the rules better. Hence parents can make rules that have been agreed with the child.
For example, an agreement that bath time is determined by both parties is at 5 pm and set with the consequences if the kids break them. Then the child would not want to have to comply with these rules. But parents should also be actively reminded that children feel the rule always applies.
This is the next stage to monitor the rules that have been made previously. If you expect the child grows discipline, parents need to be firm with the rules. If not, the rules that have been made will be in vain.
This stage is the pinnacle of the pyramid, meaning that most rare. Nina said, this new phase is done when the four previous stages have been done.
“Parents punish their children not because of anger or not because it is not strong with the attitude that upset the child, but because of care. Precisely when bad boy is left alone, it is the attitude of impunity and arbitrary,” said Nina.
However, there are also rules to punish children. The principle is not to commit physical violence. Revocation of the right to do favorite activities is the recommended type of punishment.