RHR: Managing Display screen Time for Children

Know-how has grown to play an more and more vital position in our each day lives, so it’s completely important that we contemplate the potential dangerous results of display time on each adults and youngsters. There’s a rising concern for kids whose growing brains and social abilities could be affected by [the] overuse of expertise, and but it’s turn into obvious that tech will stay ingrained in our lives for the foreseeable future. On this podcast, I cowl among the ways in which my household makes use of and restricts expertise in our each day lives, some examples of how it may be dangerous and what we will do about it, in addition to some strategies for every household to undertake a plan for managing their display time in [a] means that works finest for them. 

On this episode, we talk about:

  • Why we’re speaking about this matter
  • Putting a steadiness between placing too many restrictions on our youngsters’ display time and never giving them sufficient restrictions 
  • Selecting the very best software program for your loved ones to handle your youngsters’s expertise use
  • The significance of being conscious of the potential destructive impacts of expertise use
  • Different expertise to provide your youngsters in addition to the favored smartphone or pill
  • Determining how a lot display time is the correct quantity in your baby
  • When to have a sit-down dialogue along with your baby to speak about accountable expertise use and display time steadiness

Present notes:

  • OurPact app for managing tech time
  • Display screen Time app for managing display time
  • The Social Dilemma documentary 
  • RHR: Reclaiming Your Self within the Fashionable World with Cal Newport
  • Gabb Wi-fi telephones and watches 

RHR: Managing Display screen Time for Children

Intro

Chris Kresser: Hey, all people, Chris Kresser right here. Welcome to a different episode of Revolution Well being Radio. This week, I’m going to do a solo present on a subject that we’ve acquired fairly just a few questions on over the previous six or seven months. I’ve spoken over time and extra not too long ago in regards to the dangerous impacts of extra display time for each children and adults. And I’ve talked a good quantity in regards to the steps that we as adults can take to cut back display time. However just a few listeners have written in to ask for concepts on learn how to restrict display use in children, given how ubiquitous these applied sciences have turn into of their lives. And this has been much more true through the pandemic when many children have been remoted and saved at residence and screens have been their major interfaces with their lecturers, pals, and lives typically.

I’m going to share some concepts and instruments that we’ve discovered to be useful in our household. And there are a few caveats right here. The primary is that that is positively a piece in progress. It’s been a battle for us. We discovered some issues which have been efficient [and] some issues that haven’t been efficient. And I believe it’s price mentioning that we’re merchandise of our surroundings, and we’re formed by the environment, and we’re influenced and affected by the environment. And we will’t make remoted adjustments in that surroundings and count on these adjustments to not be impacted by the circumstances or circumstances of that surroundings. That’s a fairly long-winded means of claiming that if we discover ourselves in a tradition the place these applied sciences are dominant and play an more and more vital position in social interactions between youngsters and leisure actions and the way in which that youngsters study, and nearly every thing else, it’s going to be troublesome for us to handle that on a person stage. These are systemic issues, and, actually, there are steps that we will take individually and as households to mitigate the affect of these applied sciences. However on the finish of the day, we’re nonetheless topic to the affect of the surroundings that we dwell in. And I believe that’s one of the vital troublesome points of this for fogeys.

It’s one thing I talked with Cal Newport a bit bit on the present that I did with him on this broader matter of expertise in our lives. He additionally makes [the] level that, in his expertise, purely particular person steps which are taken to cut back display time for adults, which is what he largely talks about, are sometimes not that efficient as a result of they ignore the significance of this context that we’re discussing right here. In order that’s the primary caveat. The second caveat in what I’m going to share with you is that we as a household are fairly restrictive relating to these things. A whole lot of what we do may appear draconian or unrealistic to you, relying in your explicit scenario. If there’s a spectrum the place on one finish isn’t any boundaries in any respect, and simply giving children one hundred pc management over their very own use of expertise, after which on the opposite finish of the spectrum resides in a cave, in a distant space the place there’s completely no publicity to applied sciences for teenagers, I’d say we’re actually not within the cave. However we’re most likely nearer to that finish of the spectrum than we’re to the opposite finish of the spectrum the place there’s no limitation or boundaries in any respect.

And I’m not saying that our means is the one means, after all, and even the appropriate means. Each household has to search out what works for them, given their particular circumstances, and there will probably be loads of variables that decide that. One could be simply every explicit baby’s relationship with expertise and the way inclined they’re to display habit or extra display use interfering with different actions. The reality is that’s not the identical for each child. I believe all children are inclined to some extent, identical to all adults are inclined, due to our primary hardwired organic human programming. However inside that susceptibility, there’s positively a variety. There are children who’re very inclined to this and, sadly, these children can turn into those [who] cope with precise habit and will find yourself in rehab for online game habit or display habit of some type. And it might probably actually destroy their lives and their household’s lives.

Putting a Stability Between Too Many Restrictions and Not Sufficient

On the opposite finish of the spectrum, you may have children [who] are mildly inclined in the way in which that each one human beings are inclined, nevertheless it doesn’t actually intervene with their lives. It doesn’t get in the way in which of their regular human relationships; it doesn’t get in the way in which of their bodily exercise, spending time outdoor, and all the opposite stuff that’s vital for teenagers to be doing. In order that’s one variable. One other variable will probably be their social contacts and pals. One of many issues that’s hardest for us, and that I hear from so many alternative households, is limiting entry to those applied sciences, in lots of circumstances, limits their participation within the social actions that their pals are engaged in. For instance, I had a dialogue a number of months again with a guardian of a 16-year-old woman, and her 16-year-old woman was devastated as a result of she felt like she had misplaced her finest pal as a result of her finest pal had joined Instagram and was interacting quite a bit with different pals on Instagram. And this explicit guardian of this 16-year-old didn’t need her daughter to be on Instagram and didn’t enable it. So she didn’t have a cellphone that had Instagram on it. And, over a comparatively brief interval of just some weeks, this guardian felt, or the daughter principally felt like she was shut out from her relationship along with her finest pal as a result of her pal wished her to be on Instagram, liking her posts, and interacting along with her like different pals have been.

So it is a actual concern and [has] an actual affect on children’ lives. And I believe we have to have loads of compassion and understanding for the place that they’re in. As a result of that’s a extremely troublesome circumstance to be in for those who really feel like your finest pal is utilizing these applied sciences and eager to work together with them, and also you’re not capable of as a 16-year-old, that’s actually troublesome. All human beings wish to be included. That’s one other primary human trait. And as everyone knows, since we’ve all been youngsters ourselves, that impulse is particularly sturdy and vital through the teenage years. And I might say much less in even tween years, as effectively. So, being excluded from a context the place most of your mates are collaborating and interacting isn’t any small factor. And it’s positively one thing that we have to contemplate as we take into consideration what the very best response is as dad and mom.

That’s a framework for the way I give it some thought. And once more, that is for me, for us, for a lot of of our pals, and my sufferers and folks [who] I talked to about this; it’s a shifting goal. It’s one thing that must be reevaluated virtually consistently. I [don’t] assume it needs to be the sort of factor the place you give you a coverage and simply implement it and neglect about it. It’s far more dynamic than that, and the circumstances are sometimes altering. So I’m going to provide you some concepts and ideas and share among the applied sciences, sarcastically, that we use to restrict expertise entry. And the ultimate caveat will probably be it is a residing, respiratory set of rules and tips, and I’ll positively revisit it sooner or later as issues proceed to evolve for us.

The primary precept is pretty easy, however I’m stunned by how usually it appears to be ignored, which is for fogeys to be in command of your children’ entry to screens and expertise. I imagine that unrestricted, limitless display entry, particularly when that display is linked to the web, and there are not any boundaries on what apps could be put in, is a recipe for catastrophe. I believe we now have loads of analysis to help this. We all know that that’s even true for adults. Many people battle to restrict our personal use of those applied sciences, and even these of us who perceive what the downsides are nonetheless battle. After which whenever you give children and youngsters that sort of unrestricted entry, primary, they might first not have the identical concepts in regards to the harms that may come from these applied sciences. So they don’t seem to be essentially even beginning with the belief that they need to restrict them. And quantity two, they’ve the unbelievable social pull that I simply talked about to be utilizing them. And quantity three, their willpower and different useful resource[s], inner sources for limiting their entry, controlling their very own conduct are sometimes far much less developed than these sorts of sources could be in adults.

For all these causes, I believe that giving children unrestricted entry is a large mistake, and it’s actually setting them up and setting you up for failure and loads of issues down the road. So the primary precept is to be in command of entry, and there are alternative ways to do that. One, after all, is to not give your children their very own units within the first place, like telephones or tablets, and solely enable them to make use of yours at sure instances and for sure intervals that you just designate. Now, this has some downsides, after all, particularly as children become old. You must be very a lot concerned and in management, and there could be loads of energy struggles round that. You additionally could not need your children [on] your units and probably opening [and] studying your emails or textual content messages or issues like that. So I believe that this explicit technique can work for very younger children. [However], I might additionally argue that very younger children shouldn’t actually have a lot display entry in any respect, significantly unsupervised display entry. However when children become old, in lots of circumstances, it’s going to make extra sense for them to have their very own gadget, no matter that could be. However to make use of, once more, right here’s the irony, expertise, significantly software program, to manage and restrict their entry to these units.

Software program to Management System Entry

Let me give a particular instance in our household. Our daughter is 10 [years old] on the time of this recording, 10 and a half; she doesn’t have her personal cellphone but, though she would very very similar to to have one. And he or she seemingly gained’t have her personal cellphone till she’s 15 or 16. Once more, this places us within the absolute minority. Some would name us Neo-Luddites, nevertheless it’s a alternative we’ve made based mostly on consideration of most of the variables that I discussed earlier within the recording. She does have her personal iPad, and we use an app referred to as OurPact that permits us to set limits on the general period of time that she will spend on the gadget. And likewise what apps can be utilized, whether or not she will obtain new apps herself; she can’t. Whether or not she will do in-app purchases, she can’t. And a number of other different variables. So it’s a reasonably highly effective app. It’s not excellent; I’ve some quibbles with it. However I’ve checked out and used nearly all the same apps, and I preserve coming again to utilizing OurPact for this function. So you’ll be able to set it up. For instance, let’s say you wish to give your children a half-hour [or] an hour of display entry a day or two hours of display entry a day. You are able to do that. You could possibly even have totally different limits on the weekends versus through the week. You can even block out sure hours. So let’s say you don’t need them accessing the iPad within the morning once they’re preparing for varsity, and perhaps you wish to set blackout hours at night time, so like after 8: 00 p.m., there’s no entry till the next day after faculty at 3: 00 p.m., or no matter you’re going to do.

It’s very simple to do this with OurPact. After which from there, you’ll be able to configure what apps they’ve entry to. And that may even be accomplished for particular instances a day. So you would determine, for instance, to have solely sure apps obtainable within the morning, or on the weekend, or after faculty or what have you ever. So, [it’s a] fairly particular set of controls. There [are] additionally now built-in controls in iOS and possibly Android. I’m not an Android person, so I don’t know a lot about it. However I assume at this level that they’ve an analogous perform. In iOS, that is referred to as Display screen Time. And you need to use this for your self to manage or restrict your individual display time; you too can use it in your children. And we use each. It’s a bit difficult, [and] I’m not even certain I can clarify it right here. However there are options which are obtainable in Display screen Time that aren’t obtainable in OurPact and vice versa. So we ended up cobbling collectively an answer the place we use each, and it really works fairly effectively. It was loads of trial and error for us, and there are tons and many variables, which is, once more, why I can’t actually clarify it intimately right here. However Display screen Time, for instance, permits us to restrict total teams of apps. And I’ve discovered that in some circumstances, the time-limiting issue works a bit bit higher than it does with OurPact.

One vital factor to notice is that for both of those apps to work effectively, the units should be linked to the web as a result of that’s the way it calls again to the guardian gadget. So with OurPact, you’ll have it put in on the kid’s gadget, and then you definately’ll have an app in your gadget. And you may management all of the entry settings out of your gadget and from the kid’s gadget; that’s the way it calls again to the web, I believe, to implement the bounds. And if it’s not linked to the web, then there’s no restrict, and it is a draw back of the app, and I’ve written [to] them about it. But it surely appears to be a limitation in the way it’s programmed. And this will come up, like let’s say you’re on a protracted drive, and also you solely need your child to have the ability to watch a film for a pair [of] hours, and then you definately need them to do one thing else for the rest of the drive. Except that iPad has a mobile connection that permits it to be linked whilst you’re driving, then that restrict won’t [be enforced], principally. Your child will be capable of proceed utilizing the iPad till you get again to someplace the place there’s an web connection. In order that’s one thing to pay attention to. [A] workaround is getting a mobile connection for that gadget, and I believe Display screen Time does a greater job of that. It looks as if generally the restrict will nonetheless be enforced, even when there’s not an web connection. However to be sincere, I haven’t been capable of totally determine that out but. It looks as if generally it really works, and generally it doesn’t. However between each of those instruments, you’ll be able to have loads of fine-grained management over what your children are accessing and for the way lengthy.

Consciousness of System Actions with Potential Detrimental Impression

The second precept is to manage your children’ entry to the web and sure apps. Not all on-line actions are equal relating to their potential destructive affect on children. Streaming music, for instance, or taking pictures or organizing pictures are far totally different when it comes to how they have an effect on children than utilizing Instagram or TikTok. A whole lot of the research we’ve seen and work from individuals like Jonathan Haidt and even Fb’s personal analysis has proven that there are uniquely dangerous results of social media like Instagram and TikTok that significantly affect tween and teenage ladies as a result of they plug into the sturdy want for belonging that I discussed earlier. And children can begin to arrange their lives round getting likes for what they submit, and in the event that they don’t get likes, it deeply impacts their shallowness. And that’s a lot worse and so totally different than taking photos, listening to music, and even texting. In order that’s the very first thing to pay attention to. We’re not speaking about common restriction to all applied sciences in the identical means. It is sensible to limit entry to these applied sciences, which current the best menace and might trigger the best hurt.

So once more, apps like OurPact that I simply talked about after which Display screen Time, which is constructed into iOS, can each present entry to and restrict entry to sure apps. And I believe it’s a extremely good thought to make use of these instruments because of this. Alongside the identical traces, OurPact and Display screen Time may also block your baby from buying and downloading new apps from the App Retailer, which you positively wish to do. As a result of in any other case, your children [are] simply going to work round this gorgeous shortly. Most children are savvy with expertise, and in the event that they’re capable of get on there and obtain no matter apps they need and use these apps or do in-app purchases, then no matter efforts you’ve [made] to forestall that from occurring will probably be moot.

Options to Well-liked Smartphones

An alternative choice for controlling entry to the web and sure apps is to purchase one thing like a Gabb cellphone or a Gabb watch. It is a firm that has created telephones and watches which are particularly designed for teenagers. These units restrict the variety of contacts {that a} child might have. So, for instance, with the Gabb watch, they will solely have 10 contacts; they will’t add new contacts. So that’s safer. It prevents loads of stuff from occurring that you just may not wish to occur. There’s additionally a mode on the Gabb watch the place the one factor that the kid can do is to name an emergency quantity that you just designate, which might be your individual quantity [or] your accomplice’s quantity. And when it’s in that mode, it features principally as a watch and it’s an emergency gadget. And you may set hours for utilization. So let’s say you don’t need your child utilizing the watch through the day whereas they’re at college. You could possibly set it in order that they will solely have the total use of it from like 3: 00 p.m. to eight: 00 p.m. or one thing day-after-day. After which, the cellphone has extra performance than the watch. It’s bought music; it’s bought extra contacts. They will ship textual content messages, [and] they will make calls. However they can’t set up Instagram and different social media apps on the cellphone. It’s simply not potential to do this with the Gabb cellphone. So this has turn into a reasonably well-liked possibility for lots of oldsters.

And the watch can be a preferred possibility for youthful children. Whereas within the case the place you don’t essentially need your baby having full entry to a cellphone but, however you do need them to have the ability to make calls, which you are able to do with the Gabb watch to the ten contacts which are preloaded that the dad and mom can load, and to have the ability to ship easy emoji-based textual content messages or pre-configured messages. So you may have a set of pre-configured messages which you can decide and write and cargo into the watch. In order that they might be like “I’m on my means residence” or “are you able to come decide me up” or one thing like that. After which the child can simply select from these pre-configured messages. After which the child may also file a voice memo or voice message that will probably be despatched to you as a textual content message, however it is going to present up as an audio recording. So I believe that’s a extremely nice starter possibility.

We’re once more, on the time of this recording, contemplating that for our 10-year-old. We’re not prepared for a cellphone, even a Gabb cellphone for her. However we’re contemplating a watch, and there’s loads of controls and I believe [it] offers among the profit[s] of having the ability to take part in social interplay. A few of her pals have already got telephones. Actually, loads of them have watches or issues like that, and he or she needs to have the ability to name them or talk with them. And once I assume again alone childhood and my spouse, we each speak about this. By the point we have been 10 or 11, we have been utilizing our landlines to name pals. And we have been capable of talk with them in that means. Most individuals now don’t have landlines, and that’s actually not an possibility. So if we wish our youngsters to have the ability to name their pals and talk with them in that means, then one thing like a Gabb watch, which allows that however doesn’t enable most of the extra dangerous points of expertise for youthful children, like entry to social media, that could be a extremely good compromise for lots of various dad and mom and youngsters.

How A lot Time Ought to You Enable Your Child to Have interaction with the Display screen?

The final precept or query is simply merely how a lot time must you enable your child to be engaged with the display? It is a very private alternative. And, after all, it is dependent upon all of the variables that we talked about earlier than. And for those who ask 10 specialists, psychologists, and individuals who examine this and write about it and speak about it quite a bit, you’re going to get 10 totally different solutions. So there’s nothing common right here. And once more, I believe it relies upon quite a bit on the youngsters’ temperament. The analysis is fairly clear that younger children underneath the age of two ought to probably not have any display time in any respect. So all this Child Mozart stuff, and generally once I exit to a restaurant, and I see a household with a one-year-old, propped up on a excessive chair with a cellphone on their little tray in entrance of them, I cringe as a result of there’s loads of proof that implies that that isn’t helpful and is dangerous for the neurodevelopment, mind growth of children that age.

As children begin to become old, the vary of potential display time that specialists counsel will get broader and broader once more, relying on who you hearken to. In our case, we actually need our daughter to be spending as a lot time interacting with the true bodily world as potential, which implies being exterior, staying lively, [and] enjoying with pals in individual. After which issues like studying books, making artwork, [and] enjoying music. We really feel that these sorts of actions are finest for her mind growth, for her social growth, [and] for her growth as a human being. We would like her to have an expertise of life that’s primarily unmediated by expertise. We would like her to have time for reverie and contemplation. We would like her to really feel bored as a result of as I’ve simply talked about earlier than and written about earlier than, boredom is definitely a precondition for creativity and innovation. Having the ability to tolerate these moments the place you don’t know what to do, you’re not engaged in a selected exercise, and also you begin to really feel that sensation that we seek advice from as boredom, among the richest and most unpredictable experiences can come out of that.

And one of many issues that issues me most about these applied sciences that we now have entry to, for adults and youngsters, is that if we wish to, we will fully keep away from that have. These experiences of boredom, these quiet moments the place we’d simply gaze out the window, and we go into that default mode community the place we’re unconsciously reviewing our lives and our experiences, and that’s producing new concepts and new views. I believe that sort of time is completely important to being human, and I’m involved that there are total generations now which are being raised with these applied sciences, which might basically fully obliterate that point. So let’s say you’re in line on the retailer, and also you could be in a scenario the place you’d have these sorts of moments, however you’ll be able to simply whip out your cellphone and see what’s new. Equally, for those who’re driving in a automotive, like many people did after we have been children simply looking the window, at this level, so many children are simply watching a video or on their cellphone within the automotive. Actually anytime there’s any feeling of discomfort or simply house at multi functional’s life, we will have a look at our cellphone. And I believe that the harms of this usually are not even totally understood but and gained’t be for a while. However I’m fairly alarmed by it. And I see it in each adults and youngsters.

I used to be simply at a restaurant the opposite day, and there was a household, and the whole household was on their telephones for the whole time. And there have been moments the place somebody would put their cellphone down after which kind of go searching, see that different individuals have been on their telephones, and decide it up once more. There have been moments the place you would see somebody going via [an] inner, or no less than I used to be projecting that they have been going via an inner course of the place they’re like, “Okay, I most likely shouldn’t be utilizing my cellphone as a lot.” In order that they put the cellphone down. However then, a pair [of] moments go, some discomfort arises, [and] they decide up the cellphone once more. And I don’t imply to evaluate or to name this explicit household out as a result of all of us battle with this, together with me. But it surely’s an indicator for me of the place we’re at on this planet that we’re residing in. And I believe that if we have been, let’s say, to move ourselves from 30 or 40 years in the past, previous to the arrival of those applied sciences, and journey into the long run, after which simply be a passive observer standing in that restaurant taking a look at what’s occurring, we’d have been horrified and shocked. It might have been like a nasty sci-fi film, the place we see that that’s the character of human interplay now, and even simply [our] relationship with ourselves is totally interfered with by these applied sciences.

And I really feel like we’ve been the proverbial frogs within the boiling water, the place these adjustments have taken place shortly however not in a single day. I don’t assume we’re even totally conscious of how dramatically they’ve interfered with our lives. And for those who consider that thought experiment the place you go from 30 or 40 years in the past, these of us who have been sufficiently old to recollect what life was like earlier than these applied sciences, and also you quick ahead shortly, it will be a surprising change. So we positively fall on the tip of the spectrum of limiting entry to those applied sciences and wanting our daughter to have vital intervals of time the place she’s not interacting with them in any respect. And that’s true on a day-to-day foundation. But it surely’s additionally true on a extra prolonged timeframe. I’ve talked about this quite a bit earlier than, however we do digital, full screen-free instances as a household. We’ve been worse on this within the pandemic, however previous to that, Sundays have been sacred screen-free days for everyone. After which we’d do extra prolonged intervals; in the summertime, we’ll usually do a multi-day rafting journey or a backcountry journey the place we’re simply in nature, and we’re not interacting with telephones or screens in any respect.

And I can let you know that even when our daughter was youthful than she is now, on the finish of these journeys, she would specific that she didn’t wish to go away these environments. So even at a younger age, [she] was capable of expertise how totally different life feels whenever you’re in that sort of important important relationship to the bodily world, to nature, to different individuals. And he or she would say issues like, “Poppa, I don’t wish to go away the river,” which is a reasonably highly effective expression of our personal innate information of what’s good for us. And I believe it’s actually vital to carve out screen-free instances every day, extra prolonged intervals on a weekly or month-to-month foundation, after which, longer chunks of time perhaps on an annual or semiannual foundation, the place your children and you aren’t experiencing life mediated by a display as a result of it has turn into such a dominant expertise for many of us.

All proper, so these are my present ideas. I hope this has been useful. And once more, I wish to emphasize how it is a residing respiratory course of. We’ve modified and proceed to alter our method. For instance, proper now, we’re probably not doing a lot display time in any respect every day for our daughter. We’ve a household film night time on Saturday nights, and he or she’s bought perhaps a half-hour, an hour on one or two different days through the week, relying on the week. However we’ve had different instances the place she had an hour a day, and will watch a film or do another stuff. However we’re simply consistently monitoring it, seeing the way it’s working for her, for our household after which making adjustments accordingly. So I might positively invite you to do the identical; it does require extra thought course of, extra dialogue. It turns into a bigger matter of dialog. However I believe it’s actually vital to do this.

When to Talk about Accountable Use of Tech with Your Children

The second factor about that that I might counsel is together with your baby, as soon as they’re sufficiently old, in these conversations. We’ve talked quite a bit with our daughter in regards to the impacts of those applied sciences. She’s even watched The Social Dilemma; she was a bit younger for it when she noticed it, however we actually wished her to see it. I’ve talked to her about my work and research about expertise and display habit. She’s very effectively conscious of all of that stuff. And that doesn’t imply that she nonetheless doesn’t wish to use these applied sciences. In fact, that’s not going to alter her wishes. All that stuff is working on an mental stage; she understands it on an mental stage, however her wishes and impulses for these applied sciences are coming from a decrease a part of the mind and a part of very deep human wishes to work together with different individuals socially and be a part of one thing, and so forth. So don’t count on to clarify this stuff to your children after which have them rapidly change their conduct. That doesn’t work for many adults, so we will’t count on it to work for teenagers.

However, I believe it is very important embrace them within the dialog. And I believe you’ll discover that whenever you do this, you’ll hear your children in varied contexts mentioning, perhaps to different individuals and even to you, issues that you just’ve shared with them previously, and that’s an indicator that they’re taking it in in some type or capability. All proper. That’s it for at present, everybody. Thanks for listening. Please preserve sending in your inquiries to ChrisKresser.com/podcastquestion, and we’ll discuss to you subsequent time.

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